earthquake weather

haiku for a day in which nothing happened:

In the fridge: garlic
I want to feel an earthquake
At least 5.0


everyone knows “the last kiss” is going to be completely terrible, right? zach braff is in his thirties and he dates girls from the “oc” and he still has the audacity to pretend like he has some sort of finger on the pulse of cutting edge music and LIFE. come on. he got lucky with the “garden state” soundtrack and besides that, people were mainly amazed by how good it was because the actual movie it came from sucked so hard (guess what people remember about “eternal sunshine of the spotless mind”? OH you’re right. NOT THE SOUNDTRACK). wow, zach, wow. you found a couple very nice tracks and put them behind some of the cheesiest and most terribly acted scenes ever made about being in your twenties and now you think you are an artist? no, maybe the first guy who had some sort of running-back-to-your-true-love-in-the-airport scene in his movie was an artist but you, coming in at number one million to use that move, are just a whore in a vintage t-shirt. also, because this newest braff vehicle is written by the, is it too strong too call him a terrorist? terrorist who wrote “million dollar baby” and then tried to ruin america with “crash,” we can be pretty certain this movie is going to be LOVED BY AUDIENCES EVERYWHERE (i wish there was a bigger size than caps right now) THE SAME PEOPLE THAT WATCH “CELEBRITY DUETS” AND VOTED FOR THE PRESIDENT but at least no one tries to call “celebrity duets” art and even the president knows he is an idiot. but sadly for the usa, zach braff and paul haggis (really? haggis?) like to pretend that their work has some sort of social significance. can you tell this makes me angry? i’m not sure i am making that clear enough. all i can say is i hope “the last kiss” tanks on principle and i would rather see hilary duff win an academy award for “material girls” than have to hear paul haggis or zach braff try to rationalize their obvious desire for as much money as they can fit in their bank accounts by talking about indie music or the human condition.

i do love casey affleck though.

the end.