get right



last night i became convinced that my toothpaste had been stolen by some sort of malevolent roommate. this morning i discovered it had just been moved. maybe the malevolence is gone but i think the mystery still remains.

this afternoon i went to the exploratorium with some lc pioneers and it was free. the exploratorium is a sweet place: in the jukebox room we heard a west african song praising female circumcision and in the “sight” area i was blinded at least three times for science and in the “mind” area, we drank out of a drinking fountain toilet. i wish everyday was free museum day.

for dinner we ate at a vegetarian chinese place that had the widest and most life-like selection of fake meats i’ve ever seen. the menu was completely full of quotation marks. my favorite thing was gourmet “chicken.” the fact that i ate it is huge for me. i hate fake meat.

the last thing i want to say is that i am thinking of getting into politics so i can legislate some serious parenting laws. the effects of bad parents are all over the place these days and we need some new programs to get this country on the right track. so, if you are planning on having a kid and homeschooling them, you are arrested. if you are planning on telling your children that abortion kills cute little babies or that global warming is part of the liberal conspiracy, you are arrested. AND ALSO if you are planning on having children and generally fucking with them until they can’t deal with other people in a humane way and hate themselves and grow up to hurt my feelings, my friends’ feelings or even STRANGERS feelings, you are double arrested. america doesn’t need anymore hurt and angry people to make other people hurt and angry. when these laws pass, i’ll round up all the kids and we’ll go to the exploratorium and talk to each other through the echo-y seats. that will be better. that’s all i wanted to say about that.

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