a guy who needs a map

so the other night my friend emily in portland got wrecked by a car. she was wearing her helmet which equals she is still alive. so instead of being dead and all of us having to cry, we can now look at pictures of her beat-up and extremely tough self on myspace. i’m all for tough pictures. i hope you wear your helmet.

today i finally got paid. getting paid doesn’t cause me problems, only solutions. i don’t know what those rappers are complaining about. to celebrate my new-found richness i ate a cheeseburger WITH AVOCADO and then went with an lc friend to watch the departed.

you know what i am glad about? leonardo dicaprio coming back. the last time he was in a movie was two years ago and that movie was very seriously terrible. the last time i wanted to make out with him was, i GUESS catch me if you can I GUESS. but let’s be honest, leonardo dicaprio is hottest when he is crying. watching the departed i felt the same thing i felt during the basketball diaries when he was blowing a guy in the bathroom or in romeo + juliet when he had a hostage outside of the church. what did i feel? THAT I LOVE THIS GUY!!! i don’t even want to start on what’s eating gilbert grape? because it might sound weird. but i’m just saying: there is a reason leo was on the cover of every teen magazine from 1993 to 1997.

anyway, besides his vulnerability (and his new big muscles) the movie was actually decent. along with the returning old heartthrob, the well-known “white boys from the rough streets” were brought in: matt damon, who is a very convincing bad guy and marky mark, who just keeps getting better all the freaking time. he was in i heart huckabees for crying out loud. and he is also hot. and probably my favorite character in this movie. well, him and leonardo dicaprio.

BUT THERE IS MORE TO THIS MOVIE THAN BOYS. what it was was very entertaining. not that predictable. funny. it had sex and violence though probably not enough sex. it wasn’t earth shattering or beautiful or anything but it wasn’t stupid and it took itself just the right amount of seriously. if you watch it i doubt you will be disappointed.

because i am obsessed with movies: you should get paradise lost both 1 and 2 on netflix if you want to learn about three guys who were put in prison as teenagers, one on death row, for a crime it is pretty certain they did not commit. it’s a little depressing for those of us who believe in things like the constitution and logic but i guess it could also be considered a win for the prevailing force in our country that believes all actions should be guided by emotions like, “hey i’m scared. i think i should shoot people that are brown.” the main crimes these boys committed were: wearing black tshirts and listening to metallica. the kid who’s on death row went one step further: he tried to educate himself and was smarter than the rest of his town. man, i feel safer knowing HE’S behind bars. he checked out books from the library! that behavior must be stopped.

okay okay okay. i guess that’s enough. obviously very little happened to me today. maybe tomorrow. or maybe tomorrow i’ll just go to another movie. short bus is playing here. yah, i’ll probably just go watch short bus tomorrow.