lose something every day

today i did and didn’t get things done. i think i lost the fly fishing fly i was planning on using for this project i am doing and it’s making me a little sad. i hate losing stuff but i do it all the time. i think that’s why one of my favorite poems is elizabeth bishop’s “one art.” you should read it. especially if you are always losing things. especially people-type things.

in a little bit i am going to some sort of reading. moving to san francisco is really great if you feel like you should do more literary type-stuff. it’s kind of like moving to a carrot farm: i bet once you got there you would start eating more carrots.

because i don’t have much to say i am posting the two new endings, or one new ending sort of, i wrote for my choose-your-own adventure. read them if you want but don’t feel compelled. they might be strange taken out of context. what you need to know is: selena is also called the bee-eyed girl because she can only see very specific things in color. the only thing at the point this section starts that she has ever seen in color is the flower-faced boy (whose real name is mateo). they have names like this because the ending before this one is the erotica ending and that’s where they got names and “selena” and “mateo” seem sexy-ish to me. the story is called “the bee-eyed girl: a sci fi erotica choose-your-own-adventure.” an apiologist is someone who studies bees. here’s the story:

Selena licked Mateo’s ear. On their planet ear licking was a standard greeting. She said, “Sure sweet thing.” On their planet “sweet thing” meant “new truest friend with whom I would like to share many outer space adventures.”

Together they ran from the room. This did not surprise the class. They were aliens. Very little surprised them anymore.

They ran through the halls together to the exit where Mateo’s small starship was waiting for them. It was shaped like an egg and it was neon green, though Selena could not see that part. A door materialized and they walked through.

“Computer,” said Mateo, “Take us to the happiest and most perfect planet in the galaxy.”

The computer whirred into action as Mateo and Selena sat down and buckled their seat belts. It scanned their retinas and did a quick psychological profile of their brains. It tested oxygen and gravity levels in the cabin and then it said, “Prepare for departure.”

Selena and Mateo sat back and stared at the computer screen. “Would you like a juice box?” Mateo asked. Selena nodded and together they sucked down sweet juice and watched as the school became a gray dot and their city become a gray smudge and their country became an gray soap island in a bathtub full of dingy water and then their planet was gone. All day they drank juice boxes and talked about botany and apiology and other things they thought were interesting. That night they asked the computer how far away they were and he said, “ Not far,” which could have meant anything in computer talk so they converted the cabin of the ship into a bunk and fell asleep.

In the morning they woke up and the ship was no longer moving. The screen was dark and Selena touched the wall with her hands until the door once again appeared and opened.

“Are we here?” asked Mateo opening his eyes sleepily but Selena could not speak. Outside the door she saw for the first time green, green grass. As she reached down to touch it, a yellow bird flew by singing what could only be described as a Cure song.

“Do you hear that Mateo?” asked Selena, “Do you see this grass?”

“ ‘Daylight licked me into shape,’” sang the bird, “ ‘Must have been asleep for days.”

Now you choose!
If the bird’s next song is by Shania Twain, go to page 11[or the next paragraph].
If the bird’s next song is by Rammstein, go to page 12[or a little further down].

The Happy Science Fiction Ending:

“ ‘…but just look at us holding on,’” sang the bird, “ ‘we’re still together; we’re still goin’ strong.”

“I think we should live here,” said Mateo, “Or at least station ourselves here when we aren’t exploring the galaxy.”

“I agree,” said Selena.

Later that day, they found a small clearing in a wooded area beside a stream. There was a town not far off, with movies in colors that even Selena could see. They built a house and called their parents and spent the rest of their lives exploring the universe, not happily ever after maybe, but this was a whole different planet and they were pretty darn close.

The Violent Science Fiction Ending:

“ ‘Du,’ sang the bird, “ ‘Du hast; du hast mich.’”

And on the “mich” he dive-bombed Mateo.

“Run!” yelled Selena, but it was too late. The bird was tearing at Mateo with its beak. She stared in horror as the sweet yellow bird ripped at the skin on his face and neck.

“SELENA!” screamed Mateo, but she just stood there, paralyzed by disgust and confusion and color.

The bird pulled at one of Mateo’s eyeballs until it popped out of his head. Bright red blood poured from the empty socket, making the veins and nerves hanging down his face like weeds caught in brambles, flailing over the edge of a waterfall. Selena realized she was crying. And then she realized there was another yellow bird and it was pecking at her face. And the pecking was quickly becoming pounding. She put her hand to her cheek and when she pulled it away, it was dripping red.

At that moment the bird pulled out Mateo’s second eyeball and his screaming subsided into a moan. Selena felt something sharp and hard burrow into her ear and she felt talons on her forehead and then she felt nothing at all.