racial slurs

[this is my brother. last night he called me from the decemberists concert and let me listen to the entire encore. he’s widely known as a very good kid.]

these are some important questions:

is “indian summer” a racist term? everyone around here says indian summer over and over and over again. like: “it’s october. usually we have indian summer in october,” or “i was going to take the roof and doors off my jeep because they said it was going to be indian summer the next couple of days on the news,” or “do you know what indian summer is? do you have those in oregon?”

first of all, everyone who read any of the little house books knows what an indian summer is. second of all, in oregon we don’t need these so-called “indian summers” because we have REAL summer in the summer-time and not cloudy days wrapped up in winter coats up through september. (what is this? some sort of break in the space-time continuum? some sort of longitudinal paradox?)

but my REAL concern is the common usage of the phrase “INDIAN summer.” is indian summer like “indian giving” only specific to summer? does it count as racist if people are generally using it in a positive way? what is “indian” about a couple sunny days in the fall anyway? voodoo magic? isn’t that more of a black person thing? what is it about the indians that made them so tricky with their, “hey have this beautiful horse and my daughter,” and then two seconds later being like, “actually i want my horse back,” and then being like, “hey summer’s over,” and then saying, “JKBFF, IT’S SUMMER AGAIN!”? is it in their blood to be fickle? or is this all a trick played on us by indians who want us to think they are just a little quirky and NO BIG THREAT TO OUR FREEDOM so when we least expect it they can emerge from the secret underground lairs most of them (besides the decoys in reservations and certain hollywood actors and sherman alexie) have been living in and say, “SURPRISE! we call this ‘indian genocide!’ we aren’t really dead at all!” and then obviously they will kill us and take over our country again.

this is a real possibility. they are a tricky people who are still bitter over the victory freedom and god won over them so many years ago. don’t say i didn’t warn you. and don’t be fooled by their so-called “summers.”