my gorilla is still in one piece

on my way back from the mailbox just now (i was sending back the last disk of lost which i will possibly discuss later), i was thinking about how much i wanted to stuff all the new animals i sewed today and how i have nothing to stuff them with. i was trying to come up with something and then i thought of my gorilla koko. this was a terrifying thought. what if in a fit of creativity i ripped open my gorilla for art? horrible horrible horrible. i hate my brain.

here is koko. i will never ever ever cut her open. i feel dirty that the thought even crossed my mind and i’m only writing about it so it doesn’t fester in my brain and i don’t wake up in the middle of the night and find my self eviscerating my favorite stuffed animal.

ANYWAY. i’m not sure but i might be a little over lost. especially now that i have fully opened myself up to the genius of grey’s anatomy (genius, i’m serious, the other night, in a bout of thinking that maybe i actually do want to be a writer, i began mentally composing a letter to the writers of the show telling them exactly how brilliant i think the objective correlative of the hospital patients is and exactly what an amazing plot choice george’s syphilis was) (obviously i was in bed and it was after midnight and it’s lucky that i didn’t get up and email them and then get put on the crazy stalker list). i’m also now into the show weeds which has these things to offer: the gay guy dying from aids from angels in america being totally crazy, mary-louise parker as a suburban drug-dealing mom, kevin nealon as an accountant, a kid who bites people at karate tournaments, awesome music INCLUDING the mountain goats my favorite band, a lot of drug use and sex and swearing and basically crazy coolness at every turn. both shows make lost just seem sort of annoying. i mean are they EVER going to explain the polar bears or the killer black smoke? is kate EVER going to pick a boy to make-out with? and is EVERYONE on the show catholic? i think i need to stop watching now before it’s season 7 and the whole thing turns out to be related to jesus or god or something. that would be too big a let down to live through.

my english ta saw fit to give me a b on a paper today. i saw her reading it right before class started and i believe i confused her by omitting three sentence paragraphs re-explaining basic plot points we discussed in class and instead tried to write about something new i thought up with my very own brain. i guess i’m not surprised that at the community college of grad schools a person is rewarded for mediocrity and punished for attempting to think. i’ll try to be nicer to her than that when i talk to her about it next week. though she is REALLY into shakespearean insults (her favorite activity in section is having us insult each other “like shakespeare”) so maybe she is into american english insults too. whatever.

the good news is that my dad is coming through town this weekend. which is way better than halloween not at the yellow house. i’m not going to lie about it: i really like my dad. actually i really like my whole family. so there crazy ass english ta. i even like my cousins. i bet you can’t say that about YOUR family. if you are any indication, your family sucks.