luck has a lot to do with it

all day yesterday and all morning today i ping-ponged between extreme happiness at having my dad around and extreme mortification at the idea that i actually allowed myself to become drunk at work. so this morning after i said goodbye to my dad i went straight to the poetry center thinking i might as well get whatever my punishment was going to be over with.

it turns out my punishment was probably my lung and stomach breaking guilt. because i went into the office and no one was there. both of my bosses seemed to have taken the day off and on my desk was a note with instructions about what i should do and it was signed with a SMILEY FACE. and then later one of my bosses called to ask me to look for something and she didn’t say once,”and oh by the way, i could tell you were drunk on saturday night and you are fired.”

i guess this should just remind me that i worry about the wrong things and i should start getting worried instead about things that seem to be going perfectly well. which is good because that means i don’t have a lot to worry about.

something else: my dad leaving made me sort of homesick.

having my dad here was great because i discovered how awesome north beach (he was staying in north beach) is and how much i want to eat italian food every single night. also because he is a person i really like to talk to and be around. and he’s pretty funny. but having him leave is stupid. people should stop leaving and start staying. i command it.

i just spent an hour and a half giving my roommate feedback on a movie she’s making and my eyes are tired.

i want to start charging people for my time. especially people like certain teachers and cash register operators. and sophia coppola for that marie antoinette fiasco. not the poetry center though. the poetry center gets at least 3 hours free.