the confusing culture of the playboy mansion

okay there is this show on e! about hugh hefner’s “girlfriends.” i wasn’t quite sure how it worked to be a playboy “girlfriend” so obviously i was curious about why there are three girls on this show (the girls next door) who call themselves hugh hefner’s girlfriend and live in the playboy mansion, one of whom is about 21. so i looked them up on the internet. apparently hugh hefner just picks girls and tells them to move in. he usually has at LEAST 3 girlfriends who live with him and all they do is walk around half naked and say stupid stuff all day long like, “i always find the perfect card for every occasion.” i assume they have sex with him too. it’s creepy and it makes me feel like going back to believing in monogamy.

hugh hefner is old. he uses figures of speech my grandpa used to use.

the worst part? 2 of the girlfriends are from the oregon coast. what does this say about the oregon coast?

i don’t even know anymore.