serious. important. breaking. news.

in case you were asleep this morning:

donald rumsfield RESIGNED!!!!!

in a press conference this morning president bush said he was “disappointed” about the election results and that he felt like his party took a “thumping” and that he wasn’t out of touch with the voters, he was just “optimistic.” he also spent a good deal of time implying that the terrorist were going to be joyful and in the streets because of the election results and that the troops were going to be cowering in fear and defenseless.

also he accidentally admitted he lied to reporters last week when he said rumsfield would be staying around. he said at the time he knew that wasn’t true but he didn’t want to affect the polls or THE TROOPS MORALE with a “change in strategy” right before the election. he tried to back track and say he wasn’t sure WHO would replace rumsfield when he told reporters no one would but it was pretty obvious: president bush is lying again.

his happiest moment during the press conference: when he was outlining rumsfield’s replacement’s credentials and he said bob gates was the president of texas a & m. his eyes just lit up when he said “texas a & m.” i think it’s because of football. football makes the president happy.

don’t worry. he still wants “victory” in iraq and he knows that’s what america wants too.

as of now: democrats have the house 228 to 196 and the senate is still without a clear majority with the democrats having 50 seats and the republicans at 49. it’s still virginia that’s too close to call, though the NON outwardly racist guy is ahead right now by 1%.

i don’t know what this means or how to react. the last time i was on a winning team was for the intramural indoor soccer tournament at uw. i got a tshirt and a sense of accomplishment and then i dropped out of school and stopped winning things. i hope this doesn’t happen to the democrats. though tshirts that say “2006 midterm election champions” would be cool.

and of course, in the most important news ever for the usa: k-fed and brittney spears are getting a divorce.