in which the federales finally get their man


so i have to write a 10 minute play by wednesday and i got out of my book arts class (awesome/scary) and my ipod stopped working. so i walked to the mall by school and tried to think of ideas for a play. at the mac store they fixed my ipod and and then i went to get on the muni. the next one that was going to the bart station i usually go to wasn’t coming for 14 minutes and the other one was coming in 4 minutes. the other one takes you to castro or downtown and i figured, whatever, i’ve got time, it’s early, i can go a long ways out of my way. i didn’t have change and i haven’t bought a pass for this month because there are only a few days left in it. i didn’t buy a ticket. the muni came. i got on and started writing some dialogue between 2 people watching tv. it was about feeling guilty about riding the muni and not paying. also it was as about how the guilty feeling doesn’t outweigh the lazy feeling that makes it impossible to get 4 quarters before you get to the muni stop or even look to see if you already have the change or if you do, stand in line for one second or interact at all with those god damned ticket machines. maybe it was about inertia. i was really getting into it when we pulled into west portal station and i saw three or four transportation police guys. i thought, “really?” and put my notebook away. i figured i would do this portland-style which is jump off before the guys get on and walk away in a different direction.

something i learned today: san francisco is not portland.

as soon as i got off the train i realized the cop guys weren’t moving. i stood there for a second. we were in a station so there was only 1 way out. i walked toward the end of the platform and then turned around. my headphones were on. the guys were standing shoulder to shoulder blocking the exit. my train left. i decided to act cool and just walk on by.

sadly for me, i am bad at breaking laws. when the cop asked to see my ticket as i walked passed him, i stopped, took out my headphones and said, “what?”

this is not, in case you are curious, a good way to evade the authorities. they caught me. i cried. i didn’t want to but i felt like an idiot and then i cried and then i felt even stupider so i cried more. the officer felt bad for me, not bad enough for no ticket, but bad enough to joke about how i should get my boyfriend to pay for it.

funny.

anyway, now i don’t know what to do about my play and also i have NO idea how much the ticket is for (joker cop guy: “call this number. sometimes they don’t answer but keep calling. eventually they’ll answer and they can tell you what it’s for. i have no idea. it could really be anything.”).

finally i got back on the muni (seriously WHY DID I EVER LEAVE?) and got off at castro. on my walk home, i walked past 2 $10 bills in a planter on the sidewalk at the same moment as 2 guys who grabbed them before i could say anything.

okay. now i am going to try my best to write some sort of play and not dwell too long on all the lies i could have told or how easy it would have been for me to pay the stupid fare.

in other news: i’ve decided to learn spanish from a podcast.

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