mom drives a van

i have a 4 hour break between classes today so i’m watching y t mama tambien on my computer in the library. in case you are wondering if y t mama tambien is a good library movie, let me just say next time i will probably go with something that has a little bit less nudity and graphic sex. but whatever. the library is all about freedom of expression. thomas jefferson would have loved y t mama tambien. maybe.

the other day i was slicing up some cheese for a sandwich and i thought, “it would be so nice if i was slicing this cheese with a cheese slicer instead of this super dull knife.”

methods of then it occurred to me that if i stay single and never get married, i may never have a cheese slicer. because when do you get cheese slicers? the same time you get cheese graters: weddings. if i never have a wedding, am i then doomed to live forever without a convenient items for un-bricking cheese?

and what does this say about society?

last night i watched this msnbc special about a man whose circumcision was botched when he was an infant and whose parents then were convinced to castrate him and treat him like a girl. it was one of the most depressing things i have ever seen on tv. also one of the scariest examples of bad science around. since i just read the book middlesex (by the guy who wrote the virgin suicides about a hermaphrodite who is genetically male but raised as a girl) i felt like i was probably an expert on nature and nurture and everything. i was sort of wrong. middlesex dimension. this guy, a man when you see him, is totally fucked up. he looks like a mix between an aids patient and a woman trying to become a man. after he was was good, sure, but the interviews with this man and his twin brother took the reality of being 1 gender and having everybody tell you you are a different gender and cut up your body and give you drugs so you would fit into said gender to a whole different dimension. after he was castrated and given female hormones, he grew breasts. so when, at the age of 15 when his mom finally decided the experiment was not working (the boy hated being a girl and completely refused to participate in school or any social interactions), he finally discovered he had been born a man, he had to have a mastectomy. also, he had to take testosterone to combat all the estrogen he’d been force fed. he had to have a penis reconstructed and the operations didn’t work that well. and not only was he a disaster but his twin brother was also a mess. he felt guilt about what had happened to his brother/sister. he couldn’t really deal with the fact that his twin sister was actually his twin brother. he was addicted to all kinds of drugs.

in the end of middlesex, you get the feeling that things are going to work out. people will accept this man who used to be a girl who used to be a boy. he’s not THAT different. at the end of the msnbc special, you discover that the doctor who wrote papers about the brother and sister and called his experiment a success, never followed up and copped to his massive failure. you find out that in 2002, the twin brother committed suicide and in 2004, so did the man. it turns out that in real life, the damage people do to you is sometimes insurmountable.

thank god i was born a girl. i know i was. i’ve seen the pictures.

i sort of want to start getting the paper again.