Day 5: March 11, 2007


(Wonder and Super Amazing are sitting at a table in a bar. They are both girls. They are wearing super-hero tights and metallic skirts and shirts with their initials on their chests. They have metallic sparkly masks tied over their eyes, sort of like the mask Robin used to wear in Batman. At the next table over is table of German boys. The Germans are wearing tight pants and fanny packs and socks underneath their Teva’s. None of which they are doing ironically. W and SA are drinking beers and watching the Germans intently. Suddenly one of them looks over, holds his fingers in a backwards peace sign up to his mouth, sticks his tongue out between his fingers and licks the air.)

SA: Wonder, what’s gonna happen now?

W: One more time, Super Amazing, if he does it one more time, we have no choice but to engage in retaliatory measures.

(W and SA stare at the German hard and continue drinking their beers. Finally he turns around and does the licking gesture once again.)

W: Okay then.

SA: Okay then.

(W and SA get up and walk to the table with the Germans.)

W: Excuse me gentlemen.

(The Germans look up but then continue to talk to each other in German.)


(The Germans look up and glare.)

German 1: Yaw?

W: Look, your friend made a really rude gesture towards us.

SA: Yah it was REALLY rude.

German 1: What gesture?

W: It’s really bad. We aren’t going to do it.

SA: Geez who do you think we are?

German 2: Ach leave us alone!

(The Germans resume their conversation. The gesturing German looks up slyly and gestures again.)

W and SA: Hey!

W: Listen, your friend should buy us drinks. He shouldn’t do rude things like that to strangers.

SA: Yah.

German 1: My friend has Tourette’s.

W: What? I don’t believe that.

SA: Yah he isn’t yelling or swearing or anything.

Gesturing German: (yells) FUCK YOU MOTHER FUCKER.

(The Germans start laughing.)

W: Whatever, just buy us a drink.

SA: Yah, buy us a drink.

German 2: Leave us alone. We don’t speak English.

W: You just told us your friend has Tourette’s.

SA: Do you think we are dumb or something?

German 1: We aren’t going to buy you drinks. Now leave us.

W: Whatever. We’ll buy our own drinks.

SA: You guys suck.

(As W and SA walk towards the bar the gesturing German takes out a digital camera and takes a picture of them. When the flash goes off the girls spin around.)

W: Enough is enough mutant Germans.

SA: Sadly for you, we have democracy on our side and the secret powers of George Washington.

W: Sorry fellas.

(Someone offstage rolls a cannon to W and SA. The Germans look at them, stricken by fear.)

SA: Wonder, what’s gonna happen now?

(Stage goes black.)