so i turned in my carver essay today. and i already asked my teacher for a rewrite because at the last minute i decided the story i was writing about was actually about something different than i originally thought. i mean i am all about learning something from the beginning to the end of an essay but my whole paper was basically focused on the wrong character. anyway, this just highlights why i suck at english papers. i could easily focus on the minor character. but i want everything to be broadly meaningful. i’m too much about the forest. kill the trees.

anyway, i just sent off my hypothetical syllabus to my teacher and i am feeling a lot better about that than i am about the essay. though turning it in was sort of anticlimactic. that’s one of the negatives to being responsible about doing your work on time. it isn’t even due until tomorrow and i’ve basically been done since last week. i’m not complaining. i’m just saying.

whatever. it’s good that i at least have my syllabus to hold on to as a good thing i’ve done recently because these past couple days haven’t exactly been a festival of me being good at life. one example: i wrote back to the tv writer for the oregonian and mentioned science fiction twice: once about my sci-fi EROTICA story and once about this sci-fi post apocalyptic book my brother has been talking about which is set on i-5 in oregon. why did i think i was a good idea to write about these things to a really cool stranger? well, it was 11:30 at night. i have no other excuse. anyway, now he thinks i am into sci-fi and erotica. which means if he pictures me at all, he pictures me in some leather corset at a comic-con convention.

sometimes i think this girl scouty “just be yourself” thing is going to be a long-term problem for me.

oh well.