the internet: more exciting than real life?


you read my blog or talk to me in real life, right? you know about my bad karma obsession with a blogger in north carolina who writes everyday about her life as a stay at home mom, right? of course you do! if i saw/spoke to you over spring break you heard me TALK AND TALK about how this blogger (can i link to her yet? i haven’t decided), becca, almost took down her site when her cousin got mad at her for talking shit to the internet about her cousin’s kid and how her cousin never told her that she had given birth to her newest baby (speculation, becca wouldn’t actually say why she was about to take down her blog). anyway, MY cousin (who never calls me after she’s given birth, probably because SHE HAS JUST GIVEN BIRTH) and my friend jessie and i have our own private blog in which we discuss becca’s blog in great detail. but we made a mistake. becca uses fancy software that lets her know when someone is linking to her. we linked to her. this morning she found and emailed jessie.

imagine if george bush called you up and said “hey have you been making fun of me?”

you’d be scared, right, because of his ability to have you killed and everything. but you’d also be calling everyone you know to say, “HOLY SHIT THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES JUST CALLED ME!!”

yes. our favorite internet pseudo-celebrity has broken the 4th wall and initiated contact.

but here is why we are scared: what if becca takes down her site?

i know you people who spend time on the internet might laugh at such an idea. why would a blogger who gets some amount of hundreds of hits a day care if someone doesn’t like her? it is pretty strange. i mean, if someone cared enough about my blog to write mean comments or start a whole blog about how ridiculous i was, i would be SO INCREDIBLY EXCITED.

that’s what it means to be famous, right? to have people dedicated to loving you and an equal number of people dedicated to hating you?

but still, some people can’t handle it. britney spears for example (i was going to link to this hilarious video where she tries to be sarcastic but it was removed from youtube).

this is how i feel about it anyway: if you put anything you do into the public domain, you lose control of it. stories, poems, music videos, whatever. if you are blogging about your life, then it’s your life you are losing the final say on. at least as far as the public is concerned. though if you want you can respond to them. but you can’t expect people to feel they way about you that you feel about you. unless you are insane.

isn’t criticism one of the things that makes living interesting? or am i just a bad person? do you think i’d be singing a different song if it was me being criticized in a blog read by 3 people? well, to prove i wouldn’t, here is a comment that was posted about me on the website for the willamette week a year and a half ago:

Lizzy
As a recent graduate of Lewis & Clark College, I must respond to the comments made by Lizzy in “Survey Says”. I think that it goes without saying that she is an embarrassment to the Lewis & Clark community and its alumni that have gone on to make significant finacial and social contributions to society. It’s people like Lizzy that will motivate Lewis & Clark College faculty and alumni to do a better job with the current student body. Apparently, we let one slip through the cracks. I can see why she makes $8 an hour. Her comments, attire, attitude, and social values make her unhirable by and honorable employer.
—Dan Floyd, Lewis & Clark College 2001

(hey i know i’ve probably linked to this before, but here is the article and the rest of the comments.)

when i read that comment i was even happier than when the actual article appeared. almost as happy as i was when i read the email my friend’s mom wrote about how “naive” etc. i was. when someone criticizes you, it means they care! becca! we care! we care enough to think about what you say and how it reflects the fucked up world that we live in! we care enough that instead of commenting on your blog about how skinny you look, or how sweet you are, we take time to actually write about what you mean when you type out the words you write! does jennifer do that? or sparkle pants? our possible mistake? not saying these things to you directly. however, when you write what you write and send it out on the internet, it stops being about you and starts being a reflection of america. is that too grand? because i don’t mean it in a grand sense at all. i mean: you are an american living in america. you write about your life. you write about being american.

hey. so do i.

so becca, if you have found me too, please keep blogging. you can get mad at us if you want to. sic your loyal sweet fans on us. tell them to read this. have them say what a jerk i am.

or give up. it’s your blog and if you don’t want anyone to have an opinion about it that you don’t agree with, i recommend you only allow readers you have seriously interviewed and background checked to make sure they have no ideas of their own.

it’s up to you man. that’s what’s so great about everything.

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