newer disabilities

[this is a new meathead design. i know. you are crying. it’s pretty great.]

last night i couldn’t sleep. my brain had too many ideas. i mentally finished my play AND my carver essay and also solved the whole “terrorism” issue. none of which i remember. it was rough. anyway, that meant that i left home early (what’s the point in hanging around really, if you’re awake?) instead of late this morning. of course, i got to work at the exact same time i usually do. i ended up having to wait for the muni for like 40 minutes. and then, when it finally showed up, the driver honked his horn into my ears as he drove by. even though i had earphones in, it was one of the more painful noises i have ever experienced. i don’t know why i’m writing about this except i am pretty sure i am now partially deaf in my right ear. i’m serious. half of my head sounds like it’s underwater.

have i mentioned how completely over raymond carver i am? or maybe it’s just the class, i can’t tell, but tuesdays and thursdays from 3:30-5 are officially the most horrifying parts of my week. first of all, i am always hungry. if i’m not hungry i am tired. usually i am both tired and hungry. also there is my teacher. a nice man. i mean a REALLY nice man. but he’s in love with carver. like boswell to johnson love, you know? he wants to be carver and since he can’t do that, he will just defend him forever and ever. it was cute at first. now it’s getting old.

my eyelids are getting heavy just thinking about it.

in better school news, my class read what i have so far of my play (13 pages) and seemed to like it. it’s hard to tell if they REALLY liked it because no one in that class is very critical. but my teacher made a point of saying that my playwriting skills are really improving which i decided to believe and take as positive. i mean, after all, before this class i had never written a play ever. so improvement is a good thing.

i’m leaving for the whole summer in 2 weeks. that’s a little insane if i think about the stuff i have to do. there is also some things i am missing. for example: the interview to teach “intro to creative writing” next year. by the time i found out the interview was the 21st, i already had a ticket to portland. truthfully, i’m not too broken up about it. i asked one of the hiring committee members (my teacher) when the interview was going to be and he told me the 11th or something and i figured he was wrong. but i didn’t investigate further. i realize i could be missing out on something very important to my future career but at the moment i want to be an artist not a teacher. so i am going to the alberta art hop instead of a teaching interview. then i am going to spend the summer working at olympic national park wearing a hat. which has nothing to do with anything.

anyway, i have some friends in san francisco now. they all (all 2 of them) seem much more together than me. for example, they have california bank accounts and driver’s licences so they can get residency, and they do things like go to readings and submit stories to publications. this has something to do with the previous paragraph: a driver’s license seems like such a commitment to me.

which leads me to a new thought about myself.

just kidding. i can’t think of anything. i was going to make some connection between my lack of proof i live in california and my lack of significant other. they probably are related. i don’t really care.

this is what thursdays do to me! i don’t care about ANYTHING! luckily tonight i have plans to watch the two hour grey’s anatomy special with my friend amira who agrees with me that the show is totally crap but is also unable to stop watching it.

so at 11pm i’ll be ready to yell about izzy, if you want to call or something.

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