junior ranger

everyday i drive around the lake. i’ve said that before. and every day 1 or 15 complete jerks get right up behind me and try to convince me with their leering bumpers that i should pull over. today while i was picking up trash and informing people about the adverse effects of feeding the chipmunks, i spent a lot of time listening to the new ranger on the radio, pulling people over all up and down the lake. when it was time for me to leave, he was in the middle of a pull over. so all around the lake i drove EXACTLY 35 miles per hour. the cars behind me were ANGRY! i could feel it, but i just kept thinking about how i was doing these lunatics a favor and how they should pay me $50 each for saving their little lives. then i reached the passing lane that lasts for 4 seconds. 2 cars went right past me. one of them was a red car and it went past me very very quickly. anyway, i kept driving slowly, around the lake, until there were at least 5 cars behind me, each one of them chomping at the metaphorical bit. and then i rounded a corner and there was the new ranger, lights flashing, WRITING A TICKET to the maniac who passed me earlier. all the cars behind me suddenly slowed down. i smiled really big into my rear view mirror. people should stop messing with me. have you seen my badge?

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