he has no enemies

tomorrow my friend birch is coming to pa and we are going backpacking on the coast. seriously!

also i found these pictures on my parents’ computer. both of them appeared in the once-brilliant klc telegraph, the lewis & clark music journal edited by my friend sierra. these pictures feature real celebrities:


this guy is mason from lc who is in a band called we quit that as far as i can tell from their myspace profile actually plays shows (making them famous in my opinion).

and jonas, a guy who would probably have a restraining order out on me if he knew how much i talk about him. especially because we’ve never actually met. it’s basically a joke now, as in, ha ha i wrote some semi-creepy articles about you when we went to school together culminating in the discovery that our parents used to be friends and there is a picture of us together as babies and yet we never spoke and so i just became creepier and you just became cooler and now you have a website with your name as the url that attests to your brilliance in everything i wish i were brilliant in and all i have is a blogger blog and an increasingly un-funny inside joke for us that you are refusing to get inside.

i can’t decide whether to just pretend none of this jonas stuff ever happened or to press on with the self-humiliation in the hope that after it hits absolute zero on the funny/comfortable scale (once i am in the most depressing and awkward situation possible), the whole scenario will inevitable rebound and be EVEN FUNNIER than i originally thought was possible. i’ll probably press on. maybe i’ll become famous and i’ll name my first book jonas this one’s for you and then jonas will still be too cool to speak to me. and that would be a funny thing to tell people about, right? because i’d be famous and one of those people that everybody knows is cool and i could say, “and then i sent him a SIGNED COPY and his mom sent it back WITHOUT A NOTE!”

consider it done.

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