space camp

okay first of all: i just notice that awhile ago i blamed my lack of a boyfriend on 9/11, but that just the other day i blamed all of my past substance abuse and also my poor oral hygiene on president bush. i know this may be confusing so let me be clear: EVERYTHING is president bush’s fault. INCLUDING 9/11.

here is a real live recreated transcript of a conversation i had today wherein M is a man, W is a woman and L is me. the scene is an entrance booth across from a clear cut (which by the way is not on park property because we don’t clear cut at the park so deal with it).

M: hey what happened to those trees? (starts laughing as if he just told #1 best joke ever)
W: just kidding. (conspiratorially) we know trees are a crop.
L: yah?
W: just like corn and people.
L: people?
M: mass produced by unskilled laborers. (laughs hysterically)
W: are you married?
L: no, i’m not.
W: well someday you will be and you’ll have kids and you’ll know what we mean.
M: (hitting woman) don’t be stupid. you don’t need to be married to have kids.
W: well i used to think that.
L: well have a fun time up there.
W: we have 2 kids.
(man pulls away. woman leans over and screams out the window.)
W: i made sure all my kids were married.

i think i have diagnosed this couple with a psychological disease that prevents them from making any sense.

otherwise, i am having trouble shaking my new obsession with bullet proof vests. this could be a problem in the future.