the humans are dead

there is some really horrible shows on tv. the rock of love, in which bret michaels of lame ass suck party poisen tries to pick a number one groupie from a gaggle of desperate blond women, for example. or wait, all dating shows where a harem of girls compete for the “love” of a mediocre looking asshole are terrible. these shows should be rated triple x. kids and all human beings shouldn’t be allowed to watch them without blinder glasses and noise-cancelling headphones.

i’m staying at jade’s house, which is basically summer vacation for me every year. jade’s couch is my beach house. the willamette river is my pacific ocean.

it’s midnight in portland and the hills is on, a rerun of the first episode. my brain is turning into oatmeal. i can’t believe how fake the girls’ “work” is. i’d be skinny too if all i had to do all day was fake tan and starve myself so i’d get drunk more quickly at all the fancy clubs.

also i want to let you know: the book nanny diaries was awful so i can’t imagine the movie is going to be very good. but i saw super bad today and it was pretty funny and michael cera is the funniest 19-year-old ever and i’m thinking about marrying him. but otherwise, let’s be honest,it’s just a slightly hipper, higher security, r-rated can’t hardly wait.

okay, the hills is getting serious and my battery is getting low.