pretty woman

tonight i went out to get a beer with my bike messenger friend and all his friends. i figured it wasn’t a big deal thing to do. after all i slept in this morning and then had a productive day in which i went swimming, priced my damaged things, worked on new life plan and started my grammar essay,which is due wednesday. and it wasn’t a big deal. it was fun. i had a beer and watched all the crazy hipster bikers and listened to my friend’s genius jukebox choices (for example: “it stoned me” and “baba o’reilly”) and ran into an lc girl. and then i decided to go home because without a bike i was going to be a major drag. though with a bike i would have been too. after tonight i have vowed to wear a luchador’s mask every time i ride my bike in the mission, so the scorn i will inevitable garner will at least be anonymous. these kids, man. they are so cool. it’s cocaine or something. and cheap beer. a lot of cheap beer.

anyway, i decided to walk home. it was midnight. turns out there is a reason a sober person doesn’t walk through the mission at midnight. if you are drunk at least there is the possibility that a cab driver will see you weaving and decide to spare your life and take you home. also, if no cab driver sees you, you will be drunk when you are shanked or raped or whatever. when you are sober, what you really want is a bike or skateboard. anything to make you feel like you can go faster than a drug dealer and maybe out maneuver a bullet.

i did not have the benefit of inebriation or speed and so tonight i was:

1. complimented, as usual, on my outfit by a crackhead. THEY ARE THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO LIKE THE WAY I DRESS.

2. very very thankful to my genes that i was born with brown hair and a tendency towards childbearing hips. also thankful to whatever part of me can’t be bothered with makeup.

3. a little sorry that i had gone with the real bra.

4. solicited for drugs or prostitution or possibly both when i went down the absolute wrong street while trying to avoid the chatty crackhead homeless dudes in EVERY OTHER DIRECTION.

tonight was all about prostitution. my friend won some in a race, i saw one on the street and i heard about one who used to go to school with me. and now it’s 1 am and i really have stuff to do tomorrow. but at least i am sober and at least i am alive.

i really need a bike.

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