today i went to the kingdom,which was pretty entertaining and also had a seemingly reasonable message. also it had jason bateman. i would say: worth $8 for sure. not worth $8: feast of love. luckily i unethically snuck into feast of love without paying. as karmic payback, i spent the first part if the movie feeling guilty and trying to change my hair so the attendants wouldn’t recognize me. i spent the rest of the movie trying to figure out if the director had actually ever set foot in portland, oregon, where the movie is set. 0kay. it’s easy to figure out. the dude obviously heard some rumor that portland was hip and so he was like, “well i was planning on setting my film in conneticut but maybe if i go with portland i can make it seem edgy.” then he went to portland roughly once, at night, and actually only made it as far as gresham when he said, “yah this’ll work,” and turned around. in his portland, baristas are homeowners with sunlight gardens. portland state is a homey campus with lawns where boys play football and hordes of people gather to cheer on the vikings at neighboring “psu park” stadium, you know, the best place in town to sneak into and have late night sex while watching meteor showers. you remember, it’s right next to those ivy-league-looking dorms, the ones that face the softball fields, a short walk from the lucky lab and the corner of shaver and mississippi. people are always in shorts, usually short shorts, and when it rains there is usually lightening. there are no homeless people; there are no tall buildings; there is no one without a sun-kissed glow. it’s ridiculous.
anyway, if you know anything about portland, you might be amused by the weirdness of the setting. it is kind of interesting to see portland as new england college town. but i recommend sneaking in because the content is nutso fake crap about love with a morgan freeman voice over. for a better time, go with the shooting in the kingdom or just sit around getting excited for the new kate blanchett elizabeth movie. that’s what i’m doing for the next couple of weeks.