eating snowflakes with plastic forks

every single feeling i have these days i attribute to my undiagnosed brain injury from the bike accident. for example, i actually don’t like drawing class that much. printing, bookmaking: i loved those classes. i like making messes and mass producing weird designs and words. perspective drawing: seriously, leave me alone. i was so overcome by irritation today at the prospect of 2 hours of drawing an imaginary landscape, that i drew a plane dropping bombs and a massive graveyard:

would i have done something so juvenile before the accident? did i react with such anger to the
stairwells in the humanities building back in august? there really is no way to tell. if only i had been on a reality tv program instead of working for the park service this summer! let me go curse fate and disregard my homework. i wonder if the fact that i am absolutely the worst student ever has any relationship to what kind of teacher i am. the undiagnosed brain injury is making it difficult for me to think too much about this or write anything coherent.


did you know that i am going to mexico in a month and a half? i hope my contusion goes down by then.