it's like the 1930's around here

things i will no longer be able to do, now that i have discovered, approximately 4 days after spending $364 to fly for less than 24 hours to portland, oregon to drink pbr in a dinosaur costume, that i owe san francisco state university $1042 for the 3 credits i added after my financial aid was dispersed:

fly to portland. ever again.
eat meals other than breakfast.
see that sweet sounding new movie with ethan hawke and philip seymour hoffman.
have friends.
drink alcohol.
drink juice.
pay my rent.
pay bus fares.
get my legs waxed before i go to mexico. please someone offer to sponsor this. by someone i mean my parents.
go swimming.
take ferries.
get a california driver’s license so i can become an f-ing resident already.

it is clear that i am in need of a series of rich men to take me out to dinner. if you are a rich man and you are sick of eating dinner alone, please feel free to contact me.