fun and failure both start out the same way

you might remember: last night was halloween. i dressed up like a third grade boy and went with my friend amira and her friends to a party and then a bar. i took my roommate’s less fancy bike and wore his hat. my roommate is a very nice guy. i wore the hat UNDER my helmet. after that i drank beer with my friend jim out of my backpack on a picnic bench in a park. i expected to see some san francisco halloween carnage but i didn’t see any.

unless you count MY SOUL. which you can’t see.

i mean, jesus christ (and now the christians will find my blog), i’m back from port angeles for like 2 weeks and i get hit by a car and from there my whole summer of healthy eating and positive choices and bike riding is basically defenestrated. (can you defenestrate abstract things or just people?) anyway, if the camp director from girl scout camp could see me now she would shake her head over the piles and piles of bad decisions i keep making.

i’ve made lists. i think you know what i am talking about.

i’m really enjoying san francisco right now. it’s a fun place; i’m having a good time here. but there has to be a way to have a good time that doesn’t involve embarrassing predictatext issues at 2 am, right? it must be possible to not humiliate oneself like a sixth grader every time one walks out the door.

some of these problems are probably related to alcohol consumption. but only partly. because i was 100% sober when i bought a plane ticket to portland.

i think i need to start lifting weights again.

this is all very vague and strange. but i want to point out that even though i am still failing to act like an adult most of the time, i’m improving: last halloween i had no san francisco friends and i smoked cigarettes and i may have kissed a cab driver. this halloween i have like 3 san francisco friends and i don’t smoke cigarettes and i don’t kiss cab drivers. i don’t kiss anyone!

(you know who reads my blog? besides you, hip stranger in cherry hill, new jersey? my family members. parents, cousins, grandparents, brother, uncles, aunts. do you think it bothers them to read this stuff? maybe, but i think they ethically agree with it being around for them to read. my mom told me the other day that “transparency is the most important part of a relationship,” and i think i was raised this way. i want transparency in my relationship with the WHOLE WORLD. i don’t always tell the truth but i’m trying to. if i tell everything but the things i don’t think i can tell, that’s when i can find out what the real problems are. also, if i tell everything up until the point where i think my mom wouldn’t be able to take it and my friends would stop talking to me and people all across america would say, “lock that girl up; she’s crazy,” then i have a pretty good starting point for fiction stories. because believe me, it’s all going down. this whole thing is being recorded. you just won’t read about it until later and i will probably change your name. well, make one up. because i don’t know your name.)

anyway, here are some pictures of me as a third grade boy:

you wonder why i am so popular? it’s the sweatpants.


  1. I really like when people are expressing their opinion and thought. So I like the way you are writing

  2. I would appreciate more visual materials, to make your blog more attractive, but your writing style really compensates it. But there is always place for improvement

  3. hey Just saying hello while I read through the postshopefully this is just what im looking for looks like i have a lot to read.

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