i love you to the max

seriously. my so-called life is making me cry. it’s claire danes’ emotion-face and the 90’s music. they are completely lethal.

[this is my emotion-face.]

i’m making grammar flash cards. let me lay some knowledge on you: THE IMPLIED SUBJECT OF A CLAUSE MODIFYING VERBAL PHRASE IS THE SUBJECT OF THE CLAUSE NEAREST THE VERBAL! that’s how you get dangling modifiers, yo! by not following that rule! can you dig it?

i did laundry this morning. i had this genius plan which involved hot chocolate, a bagel, grammar studying AND laundry. and even though it was pouring rain, i was implementing the plan; i had my hot chocolate and my umbrella in the same hand! but when i walk up to the laundromat there are two loaded shopping carts underneath the tree in front. and when i got in, three seriously dirty white dudes were drinking their morning beers on the benches and watching the news and a cracked out woman was dancing around and dropping quarters. i picked one up and handed it back to her and inadvertently touched her hand. i’ve never really wanted to touch a crack head’s hand. this is why: it was like five stubby carrots welded to a baby that’s been dead since the ’80s, except redder, with fingernails and hepatitis. i guess i am prejudice against the drug-addicted homeless; i walked back into the rain and found a nice laundromat filled with families doing their tuesday laundry. i’m telling you, because of this, my laundry is just cleaner. in a spiritual way.

yesterday i saw two minutes of this public access show. it was a video of a bike messenger looking girl and in the background was this coldplay song that made it sound like the whole thing was a memorial for her or something. but i don’t think it was because she was just telling this story of finding a sweet bike, just her size, and how sexy she was, riding it around in booty shorts and red tights and how all the boys wanted to bone her or something. it came from these guys , but i can’t find the actual video. anyway, the girl was so cool, not obnoxious at all, really genuinely excited about this story, which ended with her finding the bike’s owner. and it was grainy and super low-quality but IT WAS ON TV. a lot of her story was focused on looking cool and then drinking massive amounts of alcohol and then riding bikes around san francisco. there are so many groups of people in san francisco and this look-cool/drink-a-lot/ride-without-helmets crew is especially big in my neighborhood. she seemed so into it though, and so perfect for her part, that it made me think maybe there is something to these crews. i mean, maybe all these massive sf cliques are based in at least a little something. because what this girl is doing, while it did sound sort of awesome, would be impossible for me. i hate being hung over. and i like dressing strangely but never look adorable. and i always wear my helmet. but maybe SHE has found her perfect group! maybe that is what san francisco is all about! i’ve been thinking about this because there is just one of my san francisco friends who isn’t really in the literary-mission-kids-with-bikes-but-also-jobs-who-mainly-only-drink-on-weekends crowd that i sort of identify myself with. and i haven’t heard from him in weeks. he is a look-cool/no-helmet. i think maybe our scenes have come between us. my insistence on bike helmets. his super cute cut-off pants. maybe in san francisco, friendship cannot bridge these sort of gaping lifestyle differences. which is pretty sad, but what are you going to do? by the end of romeo and juliet, everybody is dead. and i like the guy so i don’t want to see him, leonardo dicaprio-style, locking himself in the 16th street bart station, throwing himself onto the tracks because a five-years old grudge between rival groups of hipsters is getting in the way of what once was a pure oregon friendship. no, that seems rather dramatic. plus the police are busy.

anyway, what i’m doing is avoiding making more grammar flash cards, if you didn’t notice. so back to that. this time next week, i’ll be in port angeles. port angeles, that is your cue to get really excited.

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