some trees will fall down

tomorrow is my first day of grad school: semester four! i’m pretty excited. book arts all day. that’s like as close to perfect as anything ever is. well anything that doesn’t result in tears later on anyway. there is such a thing as too perfect.

the show last night was pretty sweet by the way. it was at bottom of the hill, which is only like a thirty minute walk from my house and a pretty adorable all-ages place. i like getting a wrist band because i am over twenty one. i think i deserve it. the mountain goats are playing there but i bought tickets to see them at the place i went last year. just now it occurred to me i should see both shows. of course, however, bottom of the hill is sold out. the show is in MARCH. man. that would have been cool. oh well, you can’t have everything.

though you can have almost everything: i got my pedals in the mail today. and i have a very nice family.

last night at the show i planned on not saying hi to the drummer, the guy i know from my old work. but there he was, standing RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. so i tapped him on the shoulder and said, “colin?” and he looked around really confused and then he gave me a hug and i’m pretty sure he couldn’t remember my name or how he knew me. then when he was looking the other way i sort of backed away to a stool about ten feet away from where he was standing talking to his friend. it was incredibly awkward;i really wished i was with cool-looking people so i could laugh heartily at something. but laughing heartily when you are alone is weird. after a while of feeling insanely dorky i remembered that actually colin doesn’t think i am cool at all. i used to write him haiku when he worked rolling burritos in the kitchen and and i tried to get everyone to call him grizzly bear and he was always so confused and uncomfortable and i kept doing it anyway. i don’t even know where i got grizzly bear. for some reason this really made me feel better. so i stayed for the whole thing and dudes, the shaky hands are pretty awesome. the lead singer/guitar man took off his pants in the middle of the show and he was wearing a union suit. i was pretty convinced he was staring at me the whole time. it could have been he couldn’t take his eyes off my dolphins hat. it is a mind blowing hat.

i saw i’m not there today and okay, i sort of really liked it. these are things i like that the movie had: bob dylan music sung by bob dylan, bob dylan music sung by people who aren’t bob dylan, cate blanchett acting crazy, christian bale doing anything, hobos on trains, a whole town full of kids in costume, billy the kid, the beatles acting silly, 70’s hairdos, fake documentary footage, animated whales, and heath ledger.

i’m still unreasonably sad about heath ledger dying. i mean, i know lots of people i don’t know died on tuesday. lots of people i don’t know die EVERY FREAKING SECOND. but i am especially sad about this one. he was just so great! so, i don’t know, aesthetically perfect. i mean, he made things look the way i think they should look. i guess there are some really famous people that i have weird dreams about meeting someday when i too am a famous person. but now i can never meet heath ledger. no matter how famous i get. he can’t be like forty playing the lead role in the movie adaptation of my best selling short story collection. which is too bad for the world, really.

i don’t know where i am going with that. sometimes i totally understand why people aren’t always sure if i’m being serious or not. i’m not always sure.

i guess i better get to bed or something. i am required to do something tomorrow for the first time in over a month. this is going to be serious. i better rest up.