true romance

craigslist date:

didn’t look much like his picture (could be related to the 4 month unemployment and the associated beer drinking)(oh but don’t worry he’s been working at a dog day care for like a whole week now).

had already been drinking for 4 hours when i met up with him and you know 30 of his friends in dolores park.

talked to me for about 5 minutes, with difficultly (4 hours of drinking and smoking weeds so) while his friends sat in various groups all around us like we were in middle school, occasionally walking by and giving him meaningful looks or laughing at him.

left me in the park by myself after about 10 minutes, about 4 minutes after 3 of his even more wasted friends sat down next to us and talked crazy nonsense (i realize i must have missed the “come rescue me from my craigslist date” signal) and after he told me he was going to go paint pictures out of a book about potrero hill.

received a very mature prank call from roop approximately 5 hours later (when, i can only assume, he was at a birthday party at the swedish embassy where allegedly “anything goes” [i asked him if this included killing prostitutes and that could have been the death knell of our relationship]) referencing the baby he and roop might have been having together.

i’m a human being after all. so occasionally i seek milder forms of retribution. sadly for him, he didn’t ask me what i was studying at school.