morning/failure

last night right after i finished blogging i had a minor freak attack when i realized that the paycheck i deposited on wednesday got taken back out of my account because i had failed to endorse it. i don’t know how big of a problem this is yet. i didn’t overdraw my account because i signed up for the free overdraft protection. which is nice. but still it is so lame and so avoidable. i wonder when i will stop making mistakes like that?

there are pigeons outside the kitchen door. pigeons are pretty loud but i think i am going to decide i like the noise they make. it’s better than a lot of noises like motorcycle or screaming crack head.

for some reason i’ve been just slightly out of sorts for the past couple of days. i have this huge amount of work that is only smaller than the ultra huge amount of inertia that is telling me “stay in bed! watch internet tv!” only, i can’t really stay in bed and watch internet tv because i am also very nervous. i wake up early and i’m tired and worried. it’s pathetic. i think i am a little bit homesick. i looked out the window this morning and thought to myself, “does the sky ALWAYS have to be this blue?”

maybe it’s the moving, which was one of the weirdest dramas i’ve been part of since i left africa. the whole thing sort of shook my confidence and made me want my parents around in a very juvenile way. i’m 25 for crying out loud! part of the problem is that right now it is the morning which makes everything a little sadder.

i changed my address through the post office but i haven’t received any forwarded mail yet so i might never get my paycheck back or monthly hospital bill. none of these things are really that huge of a deal. i mean nothing is. i think i am going to go swimming before my bookarts field trip today. maybe exercise is the answer to feeling better.

tomorrow i am driving to sonoma to visit my uncle. plus my grandma will be there. that is going to be nice, for sure.

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