waking up at 5:15 every morning is killing my creative spirit. i am unable to write anything except for transcripts of conversations and even those don’t go well. i have however been trolling the internet and i can report i have found officially the most disturbing personal ad ever. for your enjoyment and possible true love (stay away from soma and south beach):
I am a socialized sociopath – 30 (SOMA / south beach)
Reply to: firstname.lastname@example.org
Date: 2008-06-18, 11:58AM PDT
I am a “socialized” sociopath/psychopath. This is a real medical condition. Basically, I am incapable of feeling guilt or remorse.. I cannot feel true empathy. This does not make me evil. This just means that I do not understand what guilt feels like. I can’t understand how my action affect others in a negative way. I make people around me happy and content. Sure I lie, but what is the harm of lying when the people I am lying to are happy? Isn’t the point of life to be happy? I tried an experiment recently. I started telling the truth to everyone. I started telling everyone all the things I really did. They were all so hurt by what I told them. Telling them the truth was hurting them, and in return they wanted to hurt me back. I was a complete, irrational fool. Telling the truth just made the situation worse. Before they were all happy and content, and then I was honest with them, and now they are all distraught and upset. When you look at the numbers, clearly I made the wrong choice. Clearly I telling the truth and hurting people is irrational. This is the way I think.
I am not evil. I am not sadistic. I am very very good at manipulating people. It’s almost like a magic power. I see people’s motivations and desires so clearly. I can see exactly what they want, and I can give it to them so easily. It takes no effort at all. But I don’t manipulate people to be evil. I don’t do it to hurt them or because I am bored and just want to play with people like other sociopaths might do. I’m smart enough to know that this kind of behavior will eventually cause people to think I am a monster, so it’s clearly not in my best interest. It’s not logical to be sadistic. No, I manipulate people only to make myself safe. I manipulate those around me so that they are calm and relaxed and content around me. I make them like me and want to protect me. In my mind, this seems like a very reasonable thing to do. Shouldn’t my safety and comfort be my goal in life? Shouldn’t I try to be free of pain and harm? I think I should. I think asking me to be in pain, asking me to be unhappy, or asking me to hurt is much more evil than anything I have ever done. Doesn’t it seem wrong to ask me to be unhappy to you?
I am looking to meet people and show them what it’s like to interact with a sociopath. I will not harm you. I will make you feel loved and special. I will make you feel like you are important to me, and that you can be relaxed and content around me. It’s not real. It’s not that I hate you, or that I want to harm you, it’s just that I’m incapable of feeling the same emotions as you. But I’m going to be nice to you and make you feel happy around me. That’s a good thing, right? You want to feel happy, right? I’m going to be perfectly honest right up front and show you that this is how I am, that I am not evil, and that I am only acting this way because I want to learn more about people, about how they think and act, and why they do the things they do. I’m not going to hurt you. I’m going to make a deal with you. I’m going to make a very fair deal with you. I’m going to give you a happy, wonderful time. I’m going to give you a magical romance with the perfect guy you’ve ever met. And in return, you’re going to be providing me with data, so that I can better understand what it is that I lack. I think this is a perfectly reasonable compromise. I think this is fair.
What do you say? Are you interested in seeing what it’s like to be around me? Are you intrigued by the subtle sense of danger you will feel knowing that you are in the presence of an apex predator? Are you interested in feeling like you’ve met the most amazing, most magical person in your life? Of spending the happiest possible time you’ve ever spent with a man? You may never get the chance to really find the perfect man, but wouldn’t it be entertaining to feel what it’s like to have met him, even if you know it’s only a fantasy? Are you excited at the prospect of falling in love with a man who does not understand the meaning of love?