this isn't a musical

i am sitting at the new hippest coffee shop in the neighb. it’s called coffee bar. i have two fingers on the pulse. deal.

this is my third day in a row here. day 1: came for no reason other than i believe a change of venue for new yorker reading. day 2: came with clare-marie to do “work” but could not find any seats because of the SERIOUS GLUT of yuppies with macbooks. dude i have an ibook from 05 and live off student loans. there’s a difference. gave up and went to a less cool place. today, day 3: decided to try “work”-ing again. in the past 5 days i think have started approx 15 new stories. all of them THE WORST THING EVER WRITTEN EVER. hilarious to discover, just a few weeks before you start your final semester of graduate school in creative writing that you are bad at both creative and writing.

just kidding. i discover this like CONSTANTLY. it’s that kind of day. a CAPITAL LETTER DAY.

i am very seriously considering calling this a wash and going home to play with my sewing machine. facebook is ruining my life and everyone in this coffee shop is having a business meeting. how cute. they probably live in lofts and drive smart cars.

i haven’t been surfing in weeks but last night i signed up to receive a text when the mavericks contest is on. there is a girl i know in here but i can’t think of how i know her and i tried to smile at her but she won’t look at me. where is she from? lc? harding? who knows. i know i never stole her boyfriend because that never happened with anyone. she should probably look at me.

okay. sewing machine time. book project time. creative writing is crap and without my iphone i probably shouldn’t be in coffee bar.

i sometimes hope i never turn 30 but then i realize i am almost 30 and i know a lot of cool people in their 30s. my cousin is cool and in her 30s. she might even have a pea coat i can have, taken off a real life sailor. i should visit my cousin. her daughter knows the square root of 81. what have you ever done with your life that’s so great?

oh and ps: israel get your act together or i will renounce the small portion of my jewish blood. straight renounce it. get out of gaza. stop killing children. listen to your ridiculous spokespeople for like 2 seconds and realize YOU ARE TURNING INTO RACIST GENOCIDAL MANIAC RATIONALIZERS. “slightly injured” or “killed by friendly fire” is so not worth a bombed out school and 400 dead civilians. please. this is out of hand. and get new spokespeople. that smugness? it’s got to stop.