you know, i love my new computer. i really really do. the space bar works! and i can take pictures of myself forEVER:
but as much as i love it, its speed and size, it might be destroying my life. or maybe that is the rain. or maybe netflix watch instantly. like seriously. that shit is majorly messed up. i can watch episodes of csi until my brain is mush and i don’t remember my first name. what is my first name?
it’s raining here. a lot. which is better than like snow or really cold-ness. but i don’t know. i don’t think i am going back to oregon anytime soon. traitor talk, yeah whatever. it is so nice to just be outside whenever you want. sure it sucks that outside is filled with bleeding homeless people and busted open bags of trash but. THE SUN. have you seen it?
this week i am sorry to say has been pretty lame. there is no reason for it. even the rain isn’t really that bad. and i got packages from both my mom and my brother that had things i needed/wanted inside of them. i am employed, unlike most people. i got a valentine with chocolate inside it. i went for multiple runs, cooked, discussed things. but i feel worried. or something. i went to the doctor for this thing on my ankle and he referred me to a dermatologist. i’m just saying that. that isn’t worrying me. what is worrying me is the black hole of may. what the fuck am i going to do? i need to make some art about may. may is paralyzing me with fear. i need these things: money. where do i get those supplies after school ends? how will i pay my rent? will i even have a place to live? i just wish i had some plan at all. even like “prostitution”. that would be a plan. pole dancing?
i think i am having a slow, extended, low decibel, freak attack.
i better watch csi.