things i am dying of


This is me, the iphone version from my boss, at the crazy mfa teacher appreciation party last night. my friend anisse put it on. that girl is a crazy party machine. there were homemade hors d’oeuvres, speeches, dancing and everything. one cool thing about this picture, unlike one up on facebook taken with a flash, is that my breasts don’t look substantially different in size.

i guess that’s just life though. boobs can’t always be exactly perfect.

the party was amazing. i had to talk about my two best bosses (well i only have two but they are both the best) and one of my favorite teachers, on stage, with a microphone. i tried to get it over with quickly because that is like the definition of terror for me. hopefully people were distracted enough by my lopsided boobs and my sparkly gold pants that they didn’t notice i was about to cry.

about three people admitted to not recognizing me without my glasses. i may become some sort of spy if this writer thing doesn’t pan out.

now i am lying on the couch, on the verge of being on the verge of death. i only had two drinks last night and came home early because i was taking pete to the airport at a ridiculous hour. but i woke up with a sore throat and the desire to stay in a reclined position for the rest of forever. i’ve been looking at facebook and watching “swingtown” on netflix and drinking water, trying to fix myself so i can write a comp paper, fix the postcard for our book, clean the house a little and ride my bike or go running, hopefully tomorrow. doubtful. the real tragedy is: what i am writing right now is completely boring and a direct result of sickness sapping my brain. i can’t believe i avoided illness ALL semester while EVERYONE I KNEW got sick and now i am incapacitated. we’ll just see. sometimes i bounce back. and i am not convinced that the whole thing isn’t a psychosomatic reaction to pete leaving for nine days. that’s a lot of days. who is going to cook the chard? who is going to make sarcastic animal noises?

i forgot to mention in that previous paragraph: i don’t like “swingtown” and i think two episodes is enough. i would rather watch crappy “parks and recreation” or endless episodes of svu.

if someone wants to bring me a bottle of tylenol, i’ll accept. i amateurishly finished my ibuprofen yesterday and didn’t buy any more. i would take either.

you know what is weird to look at up close? armpits.

okay. i think i am going to take another nap now.

skype me if you want. i’m too sickly to answer to phone or the door. or just wait. i’ll be less dramatic tomorrow.

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