i am trying to craft a statement of my plans for writing next year if i were to get this most amazing, life changing fellowship that everyone in america wants. do you think “i would only write with a golden pencil while drinking champagne” is a winning essay? or are we back on with sincerity?
i know, if you are a creative writing type, you might sigh with disappointment that i too, am applying. oh you know what i am talking about. but i am no threat to you. i have the comical monkey face of a toddler and i don’t like oatmeal. my whole manuscript is haiku in a language i just invented this morning.
today someone gave me, for free, a box set of anne of green gables books and…ALL THE MOVIES. what does this mean? pete wants to have a party and he doesn’t think pimps and hos is an appropriate theme. newest idea: anne and gilbert theme. avonlea theme. who will come to this party? who will be diana? we will get you SO DRUNK OFF CORDIAL you will almost stop being our friend!
are you allowed to talk about work on blogs? i know i have before. maybe i should stick with public political matters. a few weeks ago i got in a facebook status comment debate over health care with my uncle and a guy from my home town. yes. it happened. then they both got all heated and wanted to email me their important points. then i left town and was unable to respond to the emails. now: i don’t care as much. the thing is, these people are people i like. i don’t want to leave them hanging. but our disagreement is so completely fundamental that i don’t see the point in arguing it anymore. their thing: rich people should stay rich because it helps everyone. my thing: that makes no sense. look back at all the unhelpful rich people throughout time. they are always making this weak “helps people” claim BECAUSE THEY REALLY LIKE BEING RICH. also, my other thing: there are certain types of health care that all people should have access to. if we can save peoples lives, especially through preventative care, we have a moral imperative to do that. i am not even a christian. it just seems like that is sort of the deal with civilization.
money ruins everything. copyright me right now. i know i sound so naive or whatever. just like everyone said i did in 8th grade when i got all into communism. fuck it. i don’t care if it sounds naive. i think things are way less complicated than we make them out to be. even old feudal lords knew you had to keep your serfs a little happy or they would burn down your castle and cut out your eyeballs in the middle of the night. they had to be FED at least. ALIVE at least. i still don’t get why having two jets is better than having one, or why five summer homes is better than any number less than five.
this is an awesome article my dad sent me about how the super rich are destroying the environment. i know, i should count myself in there. i totally do! even though i am currently uninsured and facing a mountain, BIG BIG MOUNTAIN, of student loan debt.
you know what? i pay my taxes for the roads you all drive on. i don’t mind.
jesus. i am tired. i am bored with these polemics. is the world over yet? can’t we all just get along as we fight alongside the super race of vampire zombies for our survival? what will glenn beck say then? will it be bad if i shoot him with my shot gun accidentally? what if he has water? what if he starts crying?
all of these are important questions that we will all know the answer to sooner rather than later. until then, i have some green gables to get involved with. jessie, you are probably going to want to come over. is bart still running? bring your pjs.