transitions are hard.

next week is my last ever week at the poetry center where i have worked for the past 3 and a half years. have i ever had a job that long before? no. will i again? remains to be seen.

my newer job asked me to be permanent instead of temporary. most people would not find this a terrifying request. they would think, oh HEALTH CARE! a steady income in these TOUGH ECONOMIC TIMES! you know what i think, hey, back off! why are you trying to cage me in?! what is this, marriage?

i took it though. it’s a good job. three blocks away from my house. it pays pretty well. these are TOUGH ECONOMIC TIMES. whatever. i plan to graduate in the spring and i will have a book published and maybe i can get some job teachering or something. i really sort of want to be a freelance travel journalist. surf journalist. so far my inquiries to surfing magazines are not getting any response. next i will start sending naked pictures.

other things i could possibly do: write term papers for rich students. ethically better or worse than getting into advertising?

no, it’s nice to have a stable job, even if it is in an office filled to the very top with sugary candy.

i’m not eating sugar this week. on wednesday, before i left for portland for thanksgiving (with pete’s family, awesome fun time) i had a massive freak out, precipitated, i believe, by my breakfast of brownies and snack of sugary gummy fruit slices. i am a pretty emotional person. i don’t want to be medicated. so i am trying a massive sugar reduction. starting with NONE this week, and slowly just back to a little on friday.

i can’t wait until friday. i love sugar. this is pleasure delay. generally not my strong suit. we’ll see.

last thing: anne of green gables. i was given the complete set of the movies. i work at a place that gives these things as gifts. have a told you where i work? here’s a hint. it gives anne of green gables dvds to members as gifts. yesterday i watched all of the first dvd. i’m about to start the second. honestly, it isn’t as mind blowing as i remember it being, from when i watched it at our upstairs neighbor’s half of the duplex in pullman when i was seven. and anne was never my favorite of lucy maude montgomery’s impossibly tragic, dramatic, beautiful, spunky, intelligent and hilarious characters. that was emily of new moon. the emily trilogy. please tell me someone else read these, under their covers, over and over again, sobbing EVERY TIME EMILY’S DAD DIED. every time teddy returned from wherever he was (abroad?) to tell emily she was the only one he really loved. two things we don’t get anymore: really waiting around for YEARS for true true love and miscommunication that causes those years of waiting around. if emily and teddy had gchat, they would have had zero to no problems.

oh man. should i read those books again? probably not. i am too jaded. but back to anne. i love early anne. as far as the books go, anne of green gables is by far the best one. in the first book anne is still awkward and tragic and hilarious. the older she gets, the more perfect and beautiful she gets, the more i want to throw her off a cliff. honestly, i don’t remember a thing she does in the later books, besides marry gilbert and have an obscene amount of children with obnoxious names. but i could tell you the whole first book. where she comes from. getting diana drunk. the brooch. god. that is the good stuff. what is the deal with writers falling into these boring daydreams when their characters get older? examples: the power of one. the count of monte cristo. good, sure, when there’s a struggle. but by the end, i mean come on! he doesn’t lose ONE boxing match? he is THAT rich?

i think when my book comes out, people might be freaked out or think some of it is a little brutal. these people may all be over forty. but still, maybe not. yeah, it’s a little brutal. but i was raised on green gables and new moon (emily of, not twilight) people. the actual world when it finally hit me was a bit of a shock. that is what my book is about maybe, the cold water shock of the actual real world on the face of a girl steeped in fiction. being spunky doesn’t always mean you get the cutest boy in school. more likely you get a bad citizenship grade. also, awkward looking girls don’t always grow up to be beautiful.

other than that though, i won’t spoil the ending.

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One comment

  1. i have all the VHSs at my house, but my "dvd/VHS" piece of shit machine eats tapes. let's party dvd style.

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