i think i have a problem which i will call “stress baking”. sometimes all i can do is bake. this never happened when i smoked. back then, sometimes all i could do was smoke. a lot of the time. oh nicotine. are you really so much worse than sugar? answer from nicotine: yes, but you can cling to your memories.
anyway, news came in that my highly amazing and talented bf got two awesome artist residencies this summer. i am trying to be a good gf, which i imagine would mean NOT sobbing all morning and imagining the bleak unremitting darkness of a summer alone or with a subletor. no surfing. no camping. just my cubicle and me. tragic.
this is the attitude i am trying to avoid. but i can be dramatic. i know it. he knows it. i have a nice life, even without him it is nice. but it is so so so much nicer with him. and three months is long long time, especially when i haven’t been away from him for more than two weeks in the last two years.
okay, maybe it’s time to cut the cord a little.
blah. i don’t want to.
but it is such a good opportunity for him! i wish i could be more sunshine-y about the whole thing. i’m working on it.
in the mean time, i baked some lemon bars.