today started put poorly. it was too hot to sleep plus which i was too stressed. i woke up at like 6:30, sat in bed, then decided, well, maybe some early morning blogging. i reached for my computer, only to discover that comcast, which had been told THREE TIMES to authorize me to take over our account and then had told me at least as many times that i was not authorized, had decided instead to shut off our service.
i did a little of what my mom calls “awfulizing” which in this context meant i thought of all the terrible things this implied, that pete hated me so much he lied about switching the service, that i would never get it back, that no one would ever love me, that i would lose my job, that michael would hate me forever. i had a frustrating call with comcast that made me cry and then i went to work an hour and a half early.
i didn’t eat anything, did work, and at ten i went to the comcast retail outlet where i was sort of short with the young woman behind the counter. i’m sure she is a perfectly nice girl but she did not give me the proper sympathy. anyway, they forced me to get a new modem, i am sure to spy on me better. i finally talked to pete about the internet situation and got a smoothie so i wouldn’t go completely postal and things started to look up. it was comcast’s fault. HE was properly irate, thank god. the smoothie was cold. i went back to work.
i don’t know if you know about the heat wave situation here in sf. it is too hot. it’s weird. i used to have a much higher tolerance for variations in temperature. now i leave the city in november and i freak because it’s too cold. i leave in august and i freak because it’s too hot. i want sixty degrees at all times. pathetic.
i worked and worked today at work. i mean, that is my job and i always work but i have these added responsibilities that are honestly pretty fun and i am, still here in day two, trying to figure out how to manage all my things while maintaining a good telephone voice and proper calorie levels. part of me thinks i need to start eating like a human again but part of me likes that edgy feeling i get when i am a little hungry. i have to say that i am a person who gets sad and eats less or gets happy and eats less, which doesn’t help the situation because not eating just makes everything more acute. mom, please don’t call me and ask if i have an eating disorder. i don’t think i do. i still eat three meals a day. i just am not as good at making food as i once was. i will get back into it though, once i figure out my job better and my life better.
anyway, now i am going to go hangout in dolores park with the rest of the twenty to thirty-five year olds in the city. i need a break from devices. i need some dinner.