differently abled

holy shit.  i feel like i might explode me-pieces all over the living room.  my first week of my new work duties is almost over and i am liking it so much.  basically, it is like a haiku writing job.  why is this my dream come true?

i am on my lunch break.  i realize i have a computer addiction.  i am really looking forward to this weekend.  on sunday, jade and i are venturing out to calistoga to wash the summer of suck off our bodies.  let me say once again, i am so freaking glad she moved here.  that girl has been thanklessly being my full-time friend since fourth grade.  she deserves a medal of honor.  she is the most loyal, puts up with the most bullshit, and is the bravest, toughest girl i know.  she also likes to hit me in the boobs and in middle school she went through a phase of pushing me into wet bushes.  so there is some give and take.

other things, all of which i plan to accomplish before i go off the grid sunday: complete a residency application and send it off, get a new mattress, send an important package to my cousin erica, pay bills, laundry.

i have been having freaky dreams, by the way.  the other night i had one where i had insane wrinkles in my forehead.  deep oozy wrinkles.  and they would never go away.  i was contemplating surgery.  i am getting old.  last night i had one in which i was the biggest brat around and my parents were asking me to help out my grandparents by driving down to check on them and do stuff for them on the weekends and i was throwing a full-on tantrum about how that wasn’t my job.  then some family friends showed up and gave me their car which had a kqed sticker.  weird.  my grandparents are totally functional and live in oregon.  and if they needed help i would do it, right?  i woke up hating myself which is funny because usually when i have a dream where i am yelling at my parents or my brother i wake up hating my parents or my brother.  which fades away of course because in real life they are all wonderful people and we all know that in dreams you are always all the people so i guess anytime i have a mad dream i should try harder to wake up hating myself.

i also had a product placement dream about an amazing iphone.  like the next day my brother told me he bought an iphone.  it’s like twin sense.  irish twin sense.

oh god, i think i am hungry.  make food or buy yakisoba next door?  it’s hard being an adult.

the end.


  1. (psssst… Jade… psssst…. Jade are you reading this? If you are, I think it’s time to bring back the thing where you push Lizzy into wet bushes. Seriously, bring that back. It sounds hilarious.)

  2. Are you sending me the Mumford & Sons album? Damn if you are, because I just bought it!! Still, I am looking forward to those cookies…

    1. dude i have this package for you that i keep trying to send except i don’t have a data cd for the pictures. but cookies and mumford cd: yes. i’ll find someone else for the cd and just send you the cookies.

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