the break-up dress goes dancing

i got dressed up last night and went to my friend lindsey’s birthday party, her doble quinceanera.  first: i got lost walking to her house and went about a mile out of my way.  she lives like four blocks away from me turns out.  then i asked a woman where lindsey’s street was and she was like, “let me get my husband,” and then the husband, an insanely attractive older man ex-cop, DROVE ME TO LINDSEY’S HOUSE.  i considered the fact that they could be a couple of psycho killers who set a spiderweb-like trap for young girls lost near the dog patch but then decided to go for they were just friendly, mildly bored people.  sometimes you get in cars with strangers and it all works out okay.  actually that has nearly always been my experience.  NEARLY.

then we went dancing at the make out room.  some dude latched on to me and kept slow dancing with me to fast songs and i am so out of practice with dealing with that that i just bounced.  plus i forgot my debit card so i was without money.  luckily probably.  but not before a crazy haiku-then-limerick contest.  sometimes nothing is better than hanging out with mildly drunk writers.  i sort of held my own until my friend kevin morphed into the world’s best limerick flow champion and when i faltered in the middle of a particularly personal and poignant limerick about how his mom didn’t love him, he extemporaneously busted out a limerick about how sad my limerick was!  and i bowed down to his superior genius.

today started slowly.  even though i did laundry, i also spent a lot of time in my (give me a break INSANELY UNCOMFORTABLE) bed.  then jade and i went to yoga, walked downtown, got dinner at the mall and watched an embarrassing romantic comedy starring drew barrymore.  you know which one i mean.  i don’t want to say it.  i think one thing jade hates about me is how much shit i talk about movies.  i don’t know why she even goes with me.  sorry dude.  i hated that movie.  it almost made me feel worse than back-to-back episodes of intervention.  i mean, not completely and there was some very good banter, but i guess i take umbrage with the principle of these movies.  people who act in real life like people act in romantic comedies are crazy people.  as a person who has ridden her bike in the middle of the night and thrown rocks at windows, i know.  I KNOW.  i’m currently totally sick of even the idea of romance or love.  not in a cute romantic comedy she’s-about-to-find-love way but in a FUCKING STOP EXISTING RIGHT NOW type way.  hey world, get a new topic.

anyway, maybe i will ride my bike tomorrow with my roommate?  i hope.  i am tired.  i got my eyebrows and upper lip threaded at the mall.  weird and cool.  down with love.  good night.

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