beth, bad and beyond

jade just came over to test my mattress because i have been lying in bed at night wondering if i was a crazy person.  she says i am not and that my mattress is seriously dysfunctional.  this is good news because i keep being awakened by springs poking into all of my body parts and then crying for a few minutes and then taking walgreen’s sleep aid and going back to bed.  seriously.  something is missing from the mattress.  i think maybe the mattress part?  it’s a torture tool.  i will fix the problem this weekend.

the weather here has gone bad.  monday was amazing.  i woke-up, hung out, went to yoga, hung out, went to dolores park and hung out with some dudes, got dinner with one of them, came home.  the whole time in barely any clothes.  it was like 80 degrees until it got 65 degrees.  no jacket.  suntan.  nice the whole way through.  plus it is nice to hang out with boys and meet new people.  i miss the boy energy.  i work with ladies and all my friends here at the moment are girls.  but i can’t help it.  i am not ready for the complete removal of men from society.  they can be so funny!

now the wind is howling.  like a wolf pack.  i had a pretty fun day at work today.  a lot of researching.  my threaded face is sort of weirdly breaking out.  it’s supposed to be all organic and non-irritating but let’s be honest, my skin wants its hair.  no matter were it is our how you do it, my whole body hates hair removal and wishes it could be hairy all the time.  when i try to reason with the skin and be like, look, this is america and no one will ever love me with bushy eyebrows and hairy legs, it gets pissed.  i think my skin is trying to make a statement by making itself uglier without the hair.  now i have bumps and scars instead.  it wants the full-on monkey.  oh well.  society is a bitch.

what else?  i have a full line-up of social events in the next couple days, involving some of my most favorite people.  i am going to try to keep it low key with the alcohol though.  i’ve been realizing that being a single person in the city means spending money and drinking drinks.  it’s okay, within reason.  27 year olds just don’t meet people completely sober, unless they meet someone in aa or rehab or church.  i don’t go to church or spend too much time worrying about substance abuse and boys don’t go to yoga and every other social function, from poetry readings to brunch, involves at the very least a mimosa.  thank god we are past the point of keg stands.  though i know some people who are still fully committed to beer pong.

anyway, as soon as i get this mattress situation taken care of, i will be able to sleep like a human and then things can’t help but get better.  i had that thought today: it has been a shitty shitty time but i always get nervous when i am happy because i know it can only get worse.  and here i am!  at the place where it can only get better!  lucky me!  and i feel so bad about this mattress.  my parents got it for me for my birthday!  i’m an ungrateful child.  but…they also spent money on it so i think it would be worse to just act like everything is okay.  i’ve seen the machinist.  i need my sleep.

okay, that’s what’s happening.  good night wind!