the only way to describe my current mental state is: hyphy. today at work was crazy. let’s be honest: most days are crazy. i have approx 2 million things to do at any given second. but i got it done. all of it. early. and now i am at home waiting for something amazing to happen.
i really want something amazing to happen.
you know the problem with the internet? it means you can get these short bursts of excitement all day long. emails, facebook posts, direct twitter messages. but nothing actually happens. you are like in this constant state of potential. because the internet is just a place to get excited about things that might happen. i want the EVENT. EVENTS. hey things: start happening.
i don’t mean to be vague, i’m just feeling hyphy. i feel like i am back to that point of heightened awareness of possibility. when i lived with pete, the possibility was actually happening. i got totally used to getting to see this person i loved every single day. now there are a lot of people i want to see but they are never right in front of me. they are at a different computer terminal, video chatting someone in south america, not entertaining me, just reading my twitter feed. i want audience response.
i’m reading a super sad true love story, if you can’t tell. what a perfect and perfectly depressing book. i think reading it before bed is really helping my dreams be better. not about the book just better quality dreams. reading is nice. reading a book is nice. you have to focus on it. one thing and you. i never focus anymore. well, except for sometimes in yoga.
last weekend i left the house and some really fun stuff happened. i’m going to try it again this weekend though hopefully with less of the downer hangover effect. the weather is back to sucky. too bad i just bought some sweet shorts. oh well. my brain is about to explode. call me! seriously. i want some face time.