Outline For A Story About How My Boyfriend Is Actually A Giant Bedbug

Sometimes people ask me: “How do you make it as a successful writer? Where does your inspiration come from? HOW IS YOUR GENIUS SAUSAGE MADE?!” So here’s a look behind the scenes, at my process. Copyright Lizzy Acker. You’re welcome.

• My legs itched for two years. I thought it was the lotion I was using.
  Then another lotion. Then my pants. Then the air. Then I thought it was normal.
• I thought, “Maybe I just get hives now??”
• I thought, “There is no possible way I have bedbugs.”
• The leg itching followed me from San Francisco to Portland.
  My bed, and the wooden pallet a friend has given me which made me feel SO GROWN UP BECAUSE MY MATTRESS WAS NO LONGER ON THE FLOOR, also followed me.
• During this two year period, I was the only person who slept in my bed for any longer than one night in…