Fleetwood Mac Friday #14: “Landslide”

The Tusk


I would never, ever say “Landslide” is my favorite Fleetwood Mac song. Never. That’s like saying your favorite Mexican restaurant is the first Mexican restaurant you ever ate at, as a kid, the family style one, where you always ordered cheeseburgers. “Landslide” is intro Fleetwood Mac. Basic. Beginner level. This column here is so advanced in its Fleetwood Mac studies that a search of our site for the word “landslide” will come up with nothing. WE’VE NEVER EVEN WRITTEN THE WORD IN ANY CONTEXT, that’s how far beyond it we are. Am I the Dixie ChicksThe Smashing Pumpkins? Miley Cyrus? Fuck no. I’m a real fan. “Landslide” isn’t my favorite Fleetwood Mac song.

But it is pretty great. I will admit that.

“Landslide” is one of the first songs Stevie Nicks contributed on her own to Fleetwood Mac, back in 1974 (or ’73 or ’75 depending on the telling of…

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Outline For A Story About How My Boyfriend Is Actually A Giant Bedbug

The Tusk


Sometimes people ask me: “How do you make it as a successful writer? Where does your inspiration come from? HOW IS YOUR GENIUS SAUSAGE MADE?!” So here’s a look behind the scenes, at my process. Copyright Lizzy Acker. You’re welcome.

  • My legs itched for two years. I thought it was the lotion I was using.
    Then another lotion. Then my pants. Then the air. Then I thought it was normal.
  • I thought, “Maybe I just get hives now??”
  • I thought, “There is no possible way I have bedbugs.”
  • The leg itching followed me from San Francisco to Portland.
    My bed, and the wooden pallet a friend has given me which made me feel SO GROWN UP BECAUSE MY MATTRESS WAS NO LONGER ON THE FLOOR, also followed me.
  • During this two year period, I was the only person who slept in my bed for any longer than one night in…

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David Letterman Isn’t That Great

The Tusk


Look, I don’t want to be a total buzzkill but here it is: David Letterman is just…whatever, you know? Amongst all these Best of David Letterman crap fests flying around the internet for the last million years it seems like, I am surprised there seems to be so little shoulder shrugging and remembering that he’s just your average old white guy who got a great job back when they were basically handing out the great jobs to white guys. He’s just been around the longest. Congrats. At the factory, they give guys like him a watch or something. Okay, yes, we don’t have factories anymore but like, say you work at the call center until they force you out because you’re senile? Hopefully you get at least a watch for that. David Letterman totally deserves a watch. But all this rhapsodizing about how wonderful and blah blah blah he was? Um…

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Analysis: Stress Dreams I Have Had Recently

The Tusk


Today is my first day at a new and exciting job and I am terrified. I mean, I don’t feel terrified, I feel vaguely nervous, but I’ve been having an unusual number of dreams that cause me to awaken in a panic, while it is still dark outside. Change is hard, I guess, and my subconscious is trying to deal with it. Here is an analysis of some of those dreams.

I’m in my boyfriend’s house and his roommates and I are talking about tattoos. It is decided that I will get a stick and poke tattoo of Robin Lopez on my skull but first I have to shave my head so they can give me the tattoo. I am worried about shaving my head, even though I know my hair will grow back over the tattoo. I get into a bathtub as they prepare to shave my head. I wake…

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The Bee-Eyed Girl: A Sci-Fi Erotica Choose-Your-Own-Adventure

The Tusk

This year for our reading at AWP, I decided to read an old, old story that I wrote when I was an undergrad. It is, as the title says, a sci-fi erotica choose-your-own-adventure. When I turned this in for class, my teacher said: “This sex scene makes it seem like you’ve never had sex.” At that point in my life, I basically had not. Anyway, because I was kind of a dick, instead of revising the story I kept doing things like making it into a book or making it into an illustrated website. The website is probably 10 years old and at this point I have no idea what the login info is so it will probably live forever on WordPress. Because during the reading I was only able to read one path through the story, I’ve decided to share the rest with you, starting with the intro here.

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We Probably Shouldn’t Trust Andrew Jarecki

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All afternoon I felt a sort of unsettled distress and I couldn’t quite pinpoint it–it was beyond the usual work stress, commuting stress, family stress: a disturbance in the field. And then in the shower I suddenly remembered: I went on a deep Capturing the Friedmans dive this morning and the stench of the whole thing is still clinging to my skin.

Last month I, like, everyone else with access to HBOGo, became obsessed with The Jinx. That final scene, where Robert Durst confesses into a mic he forgot about as he pees, that scene threw me over a cliff and left me for dead. It was fucking amazing. Top class TV. I believed it with my whole heart. I loved Andrew Jarecki (and I guess his partner Marc Smerling). So I decided to revisit their other powerhouse production, the aforementioned Capturing the Friedmans, the story of a family…

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