the complicated mirror

happy veteranss day. veterans’ day is great for many reasons. 1) my grandpa is a veteran. from world war two. without him, we’d be governed by nazis and so i’d be dead. and i am glad that you aren’t a nazi and i am not dead. 2) both of my jobs have the day off. amazing. i couldn’t go to work if i wanted to! and i really don’t want to.

as you can see from above, i am wearing my bathrobe.

mainly i am blogging to test pete who this morning told me he had “an rss feed from my blog to his brain.” otherwise, my life is pretty normal right now i guess. i went to eugene last weekend to visit my above-mentioned american hero grandpa and my less-heroic grandmas. though they were on the home-front. that was important too. i also saw my cousins and one of my cousin’s baby. he just turned one and the last time i saw him he was just an uncomfortable bump in my cousin’s belly, as far as i could tell. now he is doing some hilarious dancing and running around. also: in one excited moment of baby-sprinting up to my grandma and climbing up her like a monkey-baby to avoid his mom who was chasing him, he bit my grandma straight on the boob. she took it like a champion and the poor kid was totally freaked out but there was something amazing about the whole thing, like they were really fully PLAYING, both totally immersed in this game. just the thought of biting my grandma would have sent me into a tailspin of terror when i was a kid. i was pretty intimidated by grandparents in general back then. still sometimes i kind of worry about them reading my stuff or seeing my tattoos or whatever. this weekend i saw them and talked to them and they all seemed so mellow and human. what was i worried about? my grandma, in her 80’s, got her boob chomped on by a little boy with new teeth and she LAUGHED.

sometimes i think it would be interesting to have kids just to see how they react to my parents and grandparents. i guess they’d probably just act how i act. i mean, this new baby (okay, toddler now?), his mom is my youngest cousin and she was probably the closest of all the kids to my grandma, in this weird way. she was never intimidated by my grandma. so i guess it makes sense that her kid wouldn’t be either. my kid would probably dissolve into a puddle of tears while whispering into my ear “momma can i have a cup of water?” that is, if my previous behavior is anything to go by.

i was a huge wuss. my brother was worse. my mom however is not a wuss at all. maybe my theory is breaking down. i guess i need the babies to find out for sure.

most of the times i think i want kids it is terms of something like this. like, to do experiments on. remember that. maybe don’t let me have kids.

things i am going to do today: figure out my health insurance situations, work on monster party edits (that’s my book, that’s what it is called), laundry(?), yoga, ice my knee.

if you were looking for something cool to look at: here it is.

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